To Fill the Space

We are Parents

It is when a uterus becomes a womb,

a room once an office now holds a crib,

or in the silence between each and every

heartbeat a child listens too before bed.

When brothers and sisters become

sons and daughters with pen and paper.

When a house becomes a home,

when an embrace becomes a place

to rest and listen to a mother’s heartbeat

and to the sound of a child’s breath

slowing to the steady hush of sleep.

It is the link between a parent and a child

who we watch grow into adulthood and as this child

watches parents grow old, as smile lines are drawn

in the creases of our cheeks and tears of joys

carve out the riverbanks of our everlasting love

we are parents and they will always be our children.

In my many years of teaching HypnoBirthing and supporting men and women during their birth process I had the privilege of being Kim and James’ doula a few years ago. With recent debates about adoption and the role of parents during the 2016 Rio Olympics regarding the comments made by  NBC newscaster  Al Trautwig about US Gymnast Simone Biles’ parents, sparred a wonderful debate- I say wonderful because I believe debate creates commentary and opinions to be open and honest regarding subjects in which many may not have even realized tugged at our own heart-strings.

When I met James and Kim they were embarking on the amazing task of becoming parents to a newborn, they had already mastered the task of parenting toddlers, adolescents and even the joys of being parents to a young teenager (As a mother to two teenage boys I applaud them for this very daunting task). Kim stated she wanted to experience birth completely because she knew it may be her only chance to do so because of her already large family, two boys and two girls. So she decided on the calming techniques of HypnoBirthing, and at times their sons and daughters would come home early and they all would snuggle on the couch and listen to my guided relaxations. I was always in awe at how beautifully Kim and James parented together.

Soon after their birth, I had the opposite privilege of teaching a young woman, Kayla who was preparing to give birth to her daughter with HypnoBirthing and also an open adoption to a couple who she trusted and loved.  I remember the look in her eyes after she gave birth to her daughter and the eyes of the “adoptive” parents- they were all flushed with the same love and devotion. See we all take a single moment to choose what is right for ourselves and our children

If we have space in our hearts to give love to a child, to raise them, protect them, teach them, and stand in a crowded room whether a courtroom or birthing room and swear before all that we have chosen to provide for that child then we are PARENTS.  

To be a parent is to be a partner- linked together to care and love for a child to the best of our abilities. The moment I placed that child in the arms of her parents, the young woman who chose adoption was and is still a wonderful parent because each and every day she grows into a fine young adult who will finish college and pursue her goals and dreams just as her child will do with her loving and beautiful parents.

I am mother of twin boys, I am divorced, I am remarried, and my husband is a parent to my boys- my boys naturally will state- “Ok we are the kids and you guys (regarding myself and their stepdad) are the PARENTS.” This statement does not disregard their biological father’s role as a parent they simply understand the role of a  is parent plays is to love, protect, and to nurture the upbringing of a child and that has nothing to do with biology.

Kim and James filled their arms with beautiful loving children well before Kim filled her womb with a child. I thank them both for remind me everyday what our roles are as parents.

With Loving admiration for all parents,



About Kate Sullivan

I have been teaching HypnoBirthing and attending births as a HypnoBirthing Labor Companion since 2008. My passion comes from empowering every family, whether it is a quick inquiry to learn more or a client that I joyfully spend hours counseling with HypnoBirthing or rushing off to a birth at 2 in the morning. I want to teach you how to trust yourself, your body and give your partner those same tools so that you can begin your journey as parents with confidence.
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