Last month my husband David’s aunt was placed at Hospice, she was nearing the end of liver cancer. We as a family went to visit her, explaining to our twin boys, now 8 years old that Hospice was a very comfortable place and that it was more like a home rather than a hospital, we were wrong. When we arrived to her room Jacob our son crawled into to bed with her, placing his head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her and she sighed with a smile. She sat in her bed continuing to be the host as she always has been. Ezra my other son was disturbed by the hospital setting, she was in a room with 3 other patients, all far more ill than our Aunt Ritie, so Ezra also a natural host closed the current to create privacy. That first day we decided she did need round the clock care but by us not there. So we cleaned painted and created a room that was bright and cheerful for her to come to our home and enjoy her last days with us. Days that could be filled with the playful noises of children, endless conversations and her sister by her side as she always has been for the last 86 years.
In all honesty that first full day I was anxious scared and filled with fear. I was surrounded by cousins and opinions that I really couldn’t comprehend. Life became about her, every sleepless night was rejuvenated by her smile, her laughter and her constant ability to comfort me even in her slightest ways. We enjoyed music, she laughed when I would dance. She taught me so much about myself and I thank her for that. With her, nothing was dirty or wrong it was always about maintaining decency and trust.
I will alway miss her- but she taught me that death can be as beautiful as our first moment of life, if we follow the same guidelines, Our first and last desire in life is to be loved. The night she died I woke up at 3 a.m. exactly because I know she came up and found me to give me one last kiss goodnight.